Betsy came into my life when I came into her brother Steve's. That was about 24 years ago, because Steve and I have been married now for 23 years this coming October (2008).
I noticed right away that Betsy was the odd one in her family, mellow with an undercurrent of drive, and I loved her for that. She was courageous and determined and full of humor. She threw herself with gusto into making family get-togethers a time of fun, and when we began having holidays at her home she had everything coordinated down to having huge boxes to make tunnels and forts for the kids to play in. She thought of everything.
I got to see Betsy evolve from working in a bank to working in the movies, to becoming a Film Person through and through. It was a special blessing to me, because I had originally come to California to pursue a film career before I began popping out babies, and I enjoyed hearing her stories on the phone and during our far too infrequent visits. Because of my theater background we had a special relationship in the family; I understood the thrill of putting together a production and working with a crazy variety of people to accomplish that task, although not on the scale of a motion picture.
As we all know, however, size doesn't matter. Entertainment was the realm in which Betsy and I clicked. She clicked in all kinds of realms with all kinds of people, and this was ours. Within the Mackey family, we clicked in that clique.
Although we would see Betsy often in LA, she only visited our small tract home in Merced a few times. When she came she always wanted to go somewhere else, mostly Santa Cruz beach, a couple of hours away. She just didn't like Merced. It was small, land-locked, and the university hadn't opened yet, so there wasn't that college-town feel that she loved so much. I completely understood. It was like trying to tame a tornado to get Betsy to just sit and relax, and the only way to do it was with a great film. But once the film was over, she'd get ancy and want to go somewhere or do something. Since there wasn't much to do here she'd go outside in our typical tract home back yard and smoke.
Since Betsy was a generous person who inspired great works of generosity in others, we wanted to do something to make her feel more comfortable on her visits so that they wouldn't be so few and far between (which seems a wee bit selfish of us, I know!). After her last stay, we laid a patio and built an arbor, and our back yard now looks very un-tract-home-ish, Alas, to my deep regret, she never got to enjoy that place that she inspired us to create. I can't go out into it without wondering if she'd have liked it.
Betsy had a special affinity for my daughters, and they returned that love. They were kindred spirits and just enjoyed spending time with one another. So it was no surprise that Betsy came to my rescue one winter after Christmas, when the girls were complaining about needing to get out of town. I called her and asked her to come up and take the girls to San Francisco for the day. She asked if she could call me back, and when she did, she asked if I could drive the girls to SF, and meet her and Gayle. The older girls could stay with her and Gayle in a hotel downtown, and she would get Colleen and me a room near the wharf, at the place she prefered to stay. It was a day and a night the girls will never forget. I will never forget her coming to my rescue like that.
Betsy was a rescuer of so many people, and I harbor a secret regret that I could not have rescued her from the event that took her from us. I suppose we all do. But I trust that she is in God's amazing love right now, healed and whole, and planning our next get together in heaven, whenever that may be.
And I know she'll think of everything.
Miss you, Bets.
I'd just like to share my feeling in this letter to Betsy with all.
Dear Bets,
Today is April 27th, your 28!!!! Birthday. Just want to tell you what we did today to remember you. This morning me, Theresa and mom went to church. The pastor knew today would be kind of hard for us, so he prayed with us that we would have a nice Betsy Birthday. Afterwards we went to the store to buy some food for lunch. We made fried chicken, potates, corn on the cob, chocolate cake and ice cream. While we were there, we browsed through the plant section. We wanted to plant some flowers for you. As we live in Kansas, the Sunflower State, we looked for some flowers that you would like. As we were discussing which flowers you like, mom said she could hear you laughing about our fussing over the plants. We all had a good laugh! Bernie, Casey , Jeremy and Shayna were home. Brian came over with the girls, Brianna and Brittney. After eating, we all sang "Happy Birthday" and had cake and ice cream. In talking with the others, we all celebrated your special day in our own way.
Betsy, we miss you so much. We can't call and talk to you. It still feels unreal!! I do know that some day we will see each other and be together again. Until that day, the angels will enjoy your conversations, your laugh, your smile, your coffee drinking, your company. God will give us comfort, strength, the abiliity to understand why. You will always be in our thoughts, prayers, memories and in our everyday conversations. (Theresa just the other day made mention of us 6 kids at the family reunion in August) As for me, you will always be my baby sister and I miss you greatly. I love you forever.
Love, Me
It was a rare privilege to know Betsy a little bit. Though I met her only a few times, she made an indelible impression on me as an authentic soul with a real passion for her work, friends, animals and life in general. She was kind and generous with her time and was also confidence-inspiriing, so I am doubly sad in that I never got to work with her on a film project. The well-crafted budget she did for me lives on however, and should the film get made, you can bet she will be in the dedication. Truly a warm and giving sweetheart of a lady. May she rest in peace.
Betsy and I sometimes worked on our movie budgets together for fun, motivation, whatever. We'd call each other back and forth anyways so might as well be sitting next to each other. One night we decided it would be more fun to cook and eat and have a movie marathon, so that's what we did. Betsy was so excited to screen for me all her favorite movies and you guessed it, they were all love stories! One sappy love story after the next all thru the night. We laughed, we cried, and we promised to finish sharing our favorite movies with more marathons. I really got it that time that Betsy loved love. The next time, I sat thru an evening of love songs, dancing in her livingroom all night, we laughed so hard each new song she played was sooooo Betsy, things I haven't heard in years and she not only owned them but treasured them. The big romantic picture looming large in every living room she lived in. Thankfully she talked me in to seeing the play Wicked, I think she saw it at least 4 times and of course that's what I got her for Christmas - Wicked soundtrack. That's our Betsy a hopeful romantic, who loved people, animals, nature, live, LOVE.
Anytime I would see Betsy, no matter who she was with she would always run over, grab my arm and pull me over to the people she was with and say "This is BEVIN! She is the first person I met when I moved to the westside." Then she would grab my cheeks, shake my face and say " Look at that face. Have you ever seen such a face??" HA! It would crack me up everytime. She must have said these things at least 100 times and I can still hear her voice clear as day. Love you Betsy!
BEVIN
